I remember when I was around 8 years old, I was sitting in Marion Ord's back yard, and I told her that my mom had cancer. "The kind that's in your boob", I whispered in her ear with my hand covering my mouth. She was diagnosed when I was 5 years old. As you can imagine, my family all understood the ramifications far better than I did. She died when I was 19. A hard fought battle with everyone around her receiving battle wounds as well as her.
I didn't know how much I would miss her until they put my own baby into my arms, all purple and crying..."Mom, what the heck do I do now?!!" I wish my husband and kids could have known her. She was funny, and fun, and talented and understanding, sometimes. Sometimes she was just a woman trying to get through the day without falling apart. I understand a lot more now than I did then.
That was 30 years ago, and I still talk to her a lot. I say things like, "Mom, will you tell God that I really need him to make everything OK in my life right now?"...or "Mom, will you follow so-and-so around today and make sure she is alright?" I know she does it. How could she not when her baby is asking?

This is the only real picture I have of her......she was beautiful, she was mine.