Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's day

I remember when I was around 8 years old, I was sitting in Marion Ord's back yard, and I told her that my mom had cancer. "The kind that's in your boob", I whispered in her ear with my hand covering my mouth. She was diagnosed when I was 5 years old. As you can imagine, my family all understood the ramifications far better than I did. She died when I was 19. A hard fought battle with everyone around her receiving battle wounds as well as her.
I didn't know how much I would miss her until they put my own baby into my arms, all purple and crying..."Mom, what the heck do I do now?!!" I wish my husband and kids could have known her. She was funny, and fun, and talented and understanding, sometimes. Sometimes she was just a woman trying to get through the day without falling apart. I understand a lot more now than I did then.
That was 30 years ago, and I still talk to her a lot. I say things like, "Mom, will you tell God that I really need him to make everything OK in my life right now?"...or "Mom, will you follow so-and-so around today and make sure she is alright?" I know she does it. How could she not when her baby is asking?

This is the only real picture I have of her......she was beautiful, she was mine.


The Draper Fam said...

Nothing like starting the day with a good cry. Wow, I was really emotional while reading that.

I have never seen this picture of her. Thank you, Denise, for reminding me of the woman who understands my life of four boys more than anyone in the whole world. Love you Grandma.

Becky said...

Thanks Denise for sharing that. I enjoy hearing others talk about Grandma since I never got to meet her, in this life at least. I can't wait for that opportunity. The thing I notice most in this picture is her eyes, they are just like my dad's and siblings and probably just like all her children too! It's nice to see that resemblance.

April said...

Oh Denise that is so awesome. I forgot about that. That made me cry when you said the part about placing your child in your arms, so true. We all need our mothers. I think you are amazing to have become the women you are without her here on this earth.

Blake said...

Okay. I have to give you the biggest BlakegotfatMomma award.When I reading my notes that I use to write my blog I forgot your segment and then I saw your post and now I feel guilty. So I have to tell you here in your comments that you are awesome!