Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Dread Pirate

I've been married to a Rock Star for 30 years. Who knew?

just listen to one of our latest conversations....

DPR: "Denise...I really need a haircut...could you do it?"

Me: "Ya know, why don't we just buzz it like we used to do with Levi...it could just stay short all summer and this whole hair-cutting thing could just be avoided. Besides...then we could see what your head looks like for real.

interjection: This is one of those things I secretly admit...that I really wonder what my head looks like without hair...and wish I could do a Britney Spears for just a day. You know?

DPR: "Whatever...can't you just cut it?

Me: "Let's go get some of those buzzer things and do it...it will be fun."

DPR: "CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A HAIR-CUT!! Besides it will just be all lumpy with dents. hey....that would make a great rock album, huh...Lumpy with Dents...."

This, people, is why I am quite certain that the DPR is living a secret life that I was unaware of until now. For the last 30 years he has been keeping a secret ledger of names for bands, albums, and songs for his alter ego. These names come from simple statements that pop up...but he is sure would end up on the charts as the number 1 single for the year. Names like this:

"Wild Child" (This he thought of years ago...well...when our children were...um...wild, good name for a band)
"Pepper Tooth" (good name for a band, something everyone can relate to...)
"Schwing-Schwang" (Song name that he swears he made up...but I think he heard it on Letterman...)
and "Cracka-lackin" ( Rob really did make this one up and says it all the time....he got an email from Kindle informing him of Snoop-dogs new single. Rob is considering sueing....)

This has gotten to the point that I am beginning to wonder if when he goes out of town...if really he is really going on tour. It could happen....

"Now playing: The Dread Pirate Robert...singing his new hit single, Cracka-lackin...from his new album, Lumpy with Dents!

Shhhh....don't mind me now....I'm playing my air-guitar and thinking about my baldness....hey that would make a great album name....


jen said...

That's funny. Our last name is Denton, and Brad wanted to name our first child "Yerhead" so her name would be Dent in your head.
Not good.

JulieBelle said...

Oh Denise. I miss you!

Cyndi said...

Okay, so I actually laughed out loud when I read your interjection. I have always, secretly, wondered the same thing...but about my head, not yours. I kinda understood about the "Brittany thing". Last year, 2 weeks before his brother's wedding, Josh buzzed his hair so short (FB teammates dubbed him "cancer boy")that we didn't have to cut it again until January. It was great.

KIT said...

"wild child" is a song by Enya just so you know.

Roybn said...

Oh my gads, girl, I love the way your mind works. Thank the Lord that the filter that keeps most of us boring folks from spouting everything that comes into our head from coming out our mouth doesn't work so well with you. Love you.