Saturday, January 2, 2010

Changes coming

This is my theme song as of late:


I said good bye to Claire and Jeff yesterday...they are headed to Seattle. Levi left this morning for Kansas....Rob and I will be leaving for California in a bit. We are starting our own new adventure there. Changes are everywhere for our family. It all seems a bit overwhelming. I honestly can't say when we will all be together again in the same place.
Finding oneself in the "empty nest" phase is quite alarming....I have to say. I have been the mother of small children for such a long time, it is how I have identified and defined myself. And all of a sudden they are all adults, leading their own lives. In one word?...SCARY!
As we left Levi this morning at the airport, I said.."oh I forgot to help him figure out which gate to go to..." Kindle said, "Mom....are you kidding...he'll figure it out..."
I know.
It's hard to let go....for Pete's sake he made through far worse things than the SLC airport!
Then I got in the car and bawled. It's not just Levi...it's all of them! I miss my little chickadees.
How can I leave my Sweet "E" boy and my Swee "D" girl?
What if Mattie needs help cooking something....or what if Kit needs me to help her sew something....? Who's gonna make all the freaking Birthday cakes, for cryin' out loud!?


I know...I know....They will figure it out.
(How do I figure out how to be without them?)


at least I still have the dread pirate....

4 comments:

Becky said...

When are you leaving for California? Which part? How long? I know I haven't actually seen you for a long time but I find it comforting to know you are in the same state as me at least =) You've done a good job raising your kids they will be fine I'm sure! As for who will help them out, that is what the ward family is for. Have fun on your new adventure!

Toni Marie said...

i'm so jealous claire will be stationed in seattle! your blogs always make me cry..all about family. good luck in cali! i'll keep an eye out for levi ;)

Cyndi said...

You have said it exactly, "How am I going to figure out how to be without them?". I don't know. After all the talk of "preparing" for the little ones, years of hearing about how to deal with the little ones, the young mother's conversations about the cute things they say or do, the teams/choirs/orchestras/scouts etc to support, discussions about makeup, boys, girls, sex, friends, clothes, morals and values and standards, and the labels of "new mother", "Mother-of-toddlers", grades school-age kids, teenagers, etceteras....
I was not prepared for my heart to break everyday with the yearning for the little ones that were and with joy for the friends they become.
I have too long taken it for granted that you and Robert would always be a comfortable distance away, easily traveled. I love you and I will miss you.

Chris and Bonnie said...

Clair is in SEATTLE?! Please please please send me her address! I am in Lynnwood (near Seattle)! Chris (my husband) works at McChord Air Force Base. We NEED to get in contact with her! This is just too coincidental, and I would love to see her again! :)