Thursday, November 11, 2010

R.O.U.S.

People!  There is a plague across the land.  Yes, a plague....and it is affecting my life in alarming ways.   I have known, since we moved here that the animal life in our apartment complex is abundant, with squirrels scampering up and down trees.  I thought it was totally charming at first, until one day I was headed toward the laundry room to put my clothes into the dryer...and an evil squirrel threatened me in broad daylight!  I had unwittingly gotten between him and his nuts (ummm) and he was not having it.  He gave me a look like this:

Being the wimp that I am, I stopped dead in my tracks and high tailed it back to the safety of my apartment, where I could look at the wildlife where God intended me to...from behind the window.
 But wait, there's more...yes...much more.  We discovered when Kindle and Ben were here that at night the other woodland animals come out to play.  of course, I don't play, but Rob and Ben did play a little raccoon hockey one night.  (I shut my eyes and plugged my ears while chanting "la-la-la-la..." so I would not know about it.  Hey it works...)  Then about a week ago, we opened our front door to find a possum on our front porch!  To top it all off, this came out on the news:
WOMAN ATTACKED BY PACK OF RACCOONS!" 
(click on link to read full account)
 The story reads like a zombie movie!  she's running away then trips and they get her!  Are you kidding me?!!
 What is up with this? And why does the victim always trip and fall?   ROUS's (rodents of unusual size) are real, people, REAL!  Then, some guy says on the news, casually, that this is the 9th report of animals being attacked or killed....but they are not planning a mass attack on the racoons!  Oh no!  they are wildlife and are to be protected!  Whatever!  I think we should have coon skin hats all around...on the house!
They are not cute, people, not cute at all.  I don't care if they do have a little mask on like zoro....
la-la-la-la-la-la....

4 comments:

Kit said...

freaky! There was a Squirrel the size of a CAT that lived outside the Manwaring building in Rexburg. It lived in the Garbage can so when you went to throw something away it would snatch it out of your hand. I have nightmares now.

Becky said...

Wow! Sounds like you need to have mace or a baseball bat or something with you at all times. We had gophers in the yard of our last house. At first I thought "they are so cute I couldn't possibly hurt them." But after NOTHING working I found myself one day taking a wack at one with a shovel with intent to kill. I was mighty close too. Finally we were able to get rid of them but then voles came. . . Guess we just have to live with the wildlife. By the way Kit, your story is freaky too!

Roybn said...

Bwaaaahaaaa! Sounds like just one adventure after another there, Denise!
We keep find these gelatinous blue salamanders in our window wells, now that the weather is getting cold. Ew, I shudder just thinking about them. Also, Connor has a little mouse that lives in his window well, and scratches pathetically at night to come in.
Maybe an animal takeover conspiracy, what do you think?

The Draper Fam said...

I had a cat jump up out of nowhere and scratch my neck the other day. I didn't even see it coming! Demon cat.

Rent the movie "Furry Vengance" to get a good laugh. It totally relates to this...