BFF

I would like to introduce you to my new best friend. Her name is Bonnie...and she is from England. Rob introduced us when we got here, and then left us alone to mingle and get to know each other. She seemed nice enough...and it's good to have someone to talk to. So last week I thought we would go out together...just us girls. I needed to get me some IKEA, if you know what I mean. I knew Bonnie would know how to get there...so I wasn't really worried.
It started out great...with "go South on Highway 101 for 11 miles...", but then she started saying things like this...

Bonnie:"In 4 hundred feet, turn right, then turn right."

Me: "Wait...how many feet..?.. then 2 rights?"

Bonnie: "Turn right then keep left."

Me: " Well, I can't get over into that lane right now...."

Bonnie: "TURN RIGHT! YOU FOOL...TURN RIGHT!

Me..."just calm down, Bonnie...I'm trying to..."

Bonnie: "....Re-routing."

Me: "Look Bonnie, if you can't be nice I might have to make Dave from Australia my new BFF...I mean c'mon.

Bonnie: "turn Left, then turn right...just do it.

Me(in tears): ok...ok..."

Bonnie: "Researching point of interest.....point of interest does not exist."

Me: " what the....listen here girl friend...are we gonna have a chick fight? 'cause I will take you down!...Are you listening?"

Bonnie: "destination is in 200 feet."

Me: (sweetly)"Thank you, Bonnie."



We are getting along much better now. (but I'm not counting out Dave just yet..)