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I used to dream about colors when I was pregnant. I know it sounds crazy (when have I not sounded crazy...right?) but I really did. With Kindle it was peachy orange, Kit was an aqua color, and Claire, was....well....complicated. I dreamt of periwinkle. But wait, then I would dream of dark golden yellow. back and forth like my brain couldn't control the color knob. Then, there she was...with periwinkle eyes and dark golden hair. Sweet and quiet, but also firm and determined. My life was once again changed forever for the better.
After she was born, I went and got the piano music for Debussy's "Claire de Lune". I have always loved it...with it's sometimes sensitive feeling and then sweeping movement. It was not an easy arrangement. Difficult, delicate, powerful, beautiful, and complicated...just like Claire. I felt like if I could just keep practicing...I would figure this piece out...
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This is Claire when she was about 5 years old (we were driving in the van)...
"Mom I can cry anytime I want to."
(me)"you can? ok do it..."
pause...pause...pause...loud sobbing noise from the back seat.."waaahhh!"
I'm telling you people...I had to turn around to make sure she was ok...she nailed it!
Claire smiling, "see."
Tell me...as a mother what do you do with this?
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Claire and her dad have a system also...they tease and tease and tease till Claire gets so upset that she starts to cry....then I step in and say "Rob...do you have to do this?" (scolding) Claire will be behind my back laughing at Rob because she got him in trouble... game over.
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I secretly like it this way. I have moments, occasionally, when I actually conquer the music.
Like this time:
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Me and Claire at a Halloween party...(lick finger-chalk 1 up for mom...)
But most of the time, I just have to sit back...and wonder at the mystery, and allure of this most fascinating creature.
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Happy Birthday, sweetheart. You have brought magic into my simple minded world.
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